Why not judge?

My previous post said that you must not judge anyone around you. But I have now realized how important it is to judge – not others – but ourselves. Isn’t it?
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In fact this is the best and free tool we can have to develop ourselves. But we must see that this happens not to degrade ourselves, rather to better ourselves. Everyday contemplation about our activities is what enables us to act towards making it better the next time.

This is because, I think, our mind is always trying to remain engaged – in one way or the other. It means that if we don’t judge ourselves, we will judge others. So the question emerging here is – why not make ourselves better instead of spending the energy for others.

It is only to say, as I also said in previous post, other people’s life is their only. But my life is what I have right on – to make better every day – and every minute! This practice of contemplating about one’s activities gets into habit over time. But once in, the benefits are huuuge and life transforming.

Great people have been known to be excellent judge of their own activities. How about you? Do you judge other people’s activities? Or your own?

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Why judge?

It has been long time since I wrote my last post here. Actually, was little too busy. Ay, leave it! In this post I want to talk about why we should try to avoid judging anyone.
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As the topic name says, the current post is about our bad habit of judging others. Was just wondering how we would have judged on seeing Abraham Lincoln, the man whom people see as an example, before he became the President of US. For those of you who don’t know what he went through, according to Shiv Khera’s book ‘You can Win’,
“This was a man who failed in business at the age of 21 ; was defeated in a legislative race at age 22; failed again in business a age 24; overcame the death of his sweetheart at age 26; had a nervous breakdown at age 27; lost a congressional race at age 34; lost a senatorial race at age 45; failed in an effort to become vice-president at age 47; lost a senatorial race at age 49; and was elected president of the United States at age 52.”

I, looking at the above description, by no means, see any single point how anyone among us would have judged the man stating that he will someday become the President. So is the history filled with many more such examples.
Hence, it is important that we think twice before judging someone the next time. In the words of the great Indian saint Swami Vivekananda, “Condemn none: if you can stretch out a helping hand, do so. If you cannot, fold your hands, bless your brothers, and let them go their own way”.
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That is where I would again quote a famous Brazilian author Paulo Coelho- If you love someone; you must be prepared to set them free”. It means, I think, we should let people make mistake without judging them. And when we make mistakes repeatedly do we get free. And that is when you really get over all your fears, all your insecurities, etc.
Moreover, before you judge anyone, make sure that you are perfect.

This was all my view. How about yours? Do you judge people? Or do you just let them be?

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Healing touch of love!

Attachment with a sense of detachment is what is very significant for us all to understand.

I have seen or known individuals wanting to do something being stopped by their parents, and am sure you too have. They say – Because we love our kids. Often, these known children either wanted to get into army or wanted to start a business of their own. But they were stopped and had to settle for something – more secure! Love of the elders pulled them back.

But how far? What about their desires? Their passion – and everything within them? Their desires, etc. Yes, they would have to work hard for that – day and night! In fact, our love should be something giving way in the direction of their love and not something stopping them from the same.

But they say, “what if we lose them?” It is the fear we all live in – every second. And actually, it is the one fear in our minds that we restrict our loved ones from going after their love… their freedom. That’s where I have the question – For how long? For how long can this stopping enable those loved ones to be with us? Five years… ten years…. or fifty years… then they haves to go! Love should be something that heals… liberates – and not something that binds!
We have lived our lives! And it is often the way we wanted. So now is the time for letting those kids to live their lives. Even if it was probably not same as the way we wanted, it is time for forgiveness so that we may help the kids at doing what they want to. As parents, our job is to let the kids know the risks involved. But the ultimate decision of taking up the job should be left with the children only.

Today or tomorrow – everyone has to go! Nobody comes with an eternal life. Then why not let our children do what they want to? Let’s do our job of mentoring them while leaving them free to choose what they want to.
Love is truly reflected by letting the loved ones choose their own lives! Only then will they be able to concentrate – meditate. And evolve!!!

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Attachment with a sense of detachment

The world is filled with attractions – material and others. And further, our thoughts are designed in a .manner to pull us towards materialistic elements.

Such attachments are often in the form of love for family members, friends and other material possessions we make a fault here!

As per Gita, such things are only to be enjoyed as elements of gratification and there must not be any feeling of attachment appearing if ever we move away from them.

Gita says that the actual entity is the Atma and not the individual’s body. It also states that this Atma has a permanent exidtence and nothing can finish it. “Tera kya tha jo tu rota h” is what Gita says.

The statement very well briefs the actual summary of the text partly, which states that our body is insignificant. And any attachment to this is temporary so it has to get finished.

And thus appears attachment with a sense of detachment! I love the person and will do everything to get him or her.

But am very well aware of the very fact that the persons’ body form is temporary and has to get lost. This awareness helps us deal with a sudden situation. Grief is ok as emotions have to be shown and keeping them within create different problem. However, immersing oneself permanently is when problem appears Everything in the world is momentary and has to come to a full stop.

And having deep attachment to anything to an extent that it produces pain for a long term would be stupidity. No intelligent person will grieve much it they already have the awareness of someday losing the thing.

How is your thought about it friends?

I

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Pride is good!

I am so proud and overjoyed! It really seems accomplished now!download

Four years ago, when I was about to get my Graduation degree, I felt as if my education was still incomplete and I should also have a Post Graduation as well. And then started my journey towards it…. what degree?….. regular or correspondence?…… from where?……. what are the roadblocks?…… getting across them? It happens with us all.

Anthony Robbins says, ‘A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.”  

So I had to come out of contemplation, get over my fears and take action – I had to hit the publish button!

And finally, it seems to be done! As always, it didn’t seem possible in the beginning, though. And at times even while pursuing my course in Bangalore, I felt like giving up.

I fell, time and again, but I could always get up!!! There was something that kept me on – a desire to fulfill the expectations of so many people around me and most importantly, a desire to honour my commitments.

In fact, these failures were what helped me develop as a better human being. I have already talked of it in the post here.

Moreover, at times it would so happen as if it’s not gonna work. There’s nothing visible that could take me through those instances. But just then… just then, as if God knew my thoughts – I was able to see a spark. And then again everything started getting in place and everything seemed possible.

At last, after all these days, now it is clearly visible that I will reach the other corner of the sea I started swimming two years ago. Yes, it’s nothing new! We all start pursuing a goal and accomplish it, which enables us in a way to feel proud of ourselves. And that’s the pride I’m feeling today…. :)

Yes there are a few dark spots still, but who cares? imagesI just want to live in the joy of my current accomplishment! Rest will be taken care later…..:)

How does it work for you? Would you like to share any such story of yours? And what about your accomplishments? Do you really enjoy your accomplishments well?

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Making each day A HAPPY DAY!

Heavy traffic, low salary, angry boss… and what not! We keep cribbing about everything bad happening around us. But have you stopped by and felt happy at heart for the numerous good things around you?download

The purpose of our lives is to be happy – Dalai Lama

Still, we actually take all that we have for granted. And so, often forget to feel happy about any of them.

Do you feel happy about the first bite of food you have on a day? Do you feel happy about having a family? Do you feel happy about a safe drive back home from office? Do you feel happy about the first rain? Or the first glass of water you have?

There are so many in the world don’t have the privilege to enjoy them. In fact, on the other hand, one petty happening against our wish makes us feel so frustrated that we tend to blame everyone for that. And even tag the whole day as ‘a bad day’ or ‘not my day’.

Whenever in such situation, just try to look around – and you’ll always find so many – friend, family, having a job – to make it as ‘your day’. Or just look at the nature – the flower, the clouds, the trees – are all still there!

It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.- Charles Spurgeon 

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Are we forgetting the HUMAN within us?


Christmas is over!! But its gift of spreading love and joy must not be!!!

Watching a recent video of one of the Ted Talk speakers, Paul Piff, I thought of changing my priority. I felt the need to put up this post more.

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In the video Paul has talked of a few tests that he or his friends have been conducting to study the patterns of behaviours among the rich and the poor. And what he has found was really distressing – as people move up the ladders of richness they turn more and more towards the negative behaviours. They speak more lies, cheat more often, care less for the fellow beings, etc. Piff’s studies have also been done on the driving behaviours of the drivers of different classes of cars. His findings – drivers of richer cars are more likely to break rules in Canada (wait for a pedestrian to cross when you are on car).

It’s not all bad!!! His later studies have relieving findings. They have shown that most rich people do react with compassion and empathy. They made small interventions.

And what did they find? Reminding people of the need and benefits of compassion, co-operation, community creates positive changes. When people were asked to co-operate after showing a short 46 seconds video, all the rich were found ready to contribute and co-operate.

So we are not innately or genetically attuned to behave in a manner to inflict or withdraw from others’ pain. It is only that we forget what is important, and small nudges in the direction could restore everything.

Because as the speaker has mentioned in the words of one of the richest businessmen of the world – “Humanity’s greatest advances are not in its discoveries – but in how those discoveries are applied to reduce inequity…” – Bill Gates, 2007

 

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