Return of my beloved!

I know not how you got into my life,

I know not how you got into my heart,

What I only know is that,

Without you, I can’t be.

Still, I pained to let you free,

To go, and be with the one you wanted to be.

But, my Lord had a different story to weave,

And you have, at last, returned to me.

********************************************************************

Well, in spite of many attempts to succeed in writing poetry, I’ve never been able to write something liked by someone other than my family members. No poetry meet liked to publish any of them( I could never know why they rejected them or what they wanted from me   ) and so, one by one I’ll be putting them up here for it’s MY Blog. LOL

If only I change………

Since my childhood days, I’ve been hearing statements like,”It is so. You can’t change it.”,”What if only I change”, “A single person can’t make any difference as the population is in millions”It has to be this way”,etc. Then, I used to feel the stupidity of these remarks, but didn’t have a clear understanding of these statements….

“Only I should change, leaving rest of the world”. If it is done so, our world will rarely have any problem and will become a better place to live. Here, I would like to put down an incident that happened with me a few times ago.

I was sitting on the last seat in a bus. It was around 7:30 a.m. No sooner had the bus left the stop than a boy of around 20 got into it. He appeared to be extremely tired – might be, that he had been running for long – this was what I thought. He used to hold his stomach, time and again, whenever the bus jerked, and his face appeared as if he would die of pain.

Anyways, his condition made me uncomfortable and I requested him to sit in my place. He sat there and moved a bit shrinking himself to offer me a part of the same seat so that I could rest my back there. I simply said that I was OK and he could sit comfortably there.

After a few five to seven minutes, another man came there and requested for a share on the same seat. Firstly, his offer was rejected but when the eyes of the ‘paining stomach guy’ came in contact with mine, he just slipped a bit and made space for the newer needy person. I was simply surprised, and happy too!

These are big words and well, I too am far from being the one to make changes. In fact, I am just a stupid person doing mundane tasks that I feel good to do. Well, just felt the need to make a note of here.

Believe it or not, that’s probably all that can happen if only……….

Fruit of patience!

Today, I wrote it just to ensure that I do Fiction Friday, for I was in no mood to write a story. Also, the prompt was a bit tough to go with. Anyways, I did the best I could!

Prompt: A boy and his father awaken early to watch the sunrise from their mountain campsite, but they begin to panic when the sky remains dark long into the afternoon.

Mr. Solomon and his only child were standing on the bridge to see the first ray of sunlight. They had heard that it looked magnificent but they had never seen it. The kid, Romesh, was far more excited for firstly, he was on the slopes of Darjeeling hills and secondly, he was about to see something he had never seen.

“Dad, none of my friends have ever seen the rising sun here. How does it look? Can the camera capture complete image? Won’t it get blurred?”

“No dear. Ths sun is not so hot here. It’ll just be yellowish red and your camera will capture the perfect image.”

“It won’t be seen again today. Don’t you all see the cloud that has taken an oath not to go from here today again.”, said an old man in a frustrated tone.

The little Romesh ran only to hide behind his dad and started to cry. “oh no dad! I left everything back there only to see this beautiful scene and I won’t go without taking a snap of it.”

“Yes, yes my son you’ll have the beauty in your camera. The orange ball surrounded by its crimson light…..all you’ll be able to enjoy today…. But saying this Mr. Solomon himself was not sure for he knew that the view was too rare to be seen.”

The area didn’t have only these father and son but there were hundreds of more people waiting for a single glance at the unique scene that they had probably only seen in pictures.

Second after second, minute after minute went by but there was no sign of the clouds leaving their position.

Many people had gone back only with the thought that they would be coming tomorrow. But what was Mr. Solomon to do. He had a reservation for tomorrow and couldn’t wait for another day.

Just then, they heard a shout, “There it is. The red ball!”

“O my God! How beautiful the sky is getting! Really, I had never seen it before. I would have missed it only if I had returned. Thanks God for giving me strength to hold on my patience just to enjoy this majestic view.”

And ‘CLICK!” went his camera just to capture the unique yellowish orange sky with the large orange ball in it.

Can small deeds of goodness change the shape of the world?

Simply browsing through various sites brought the question to my mind. And…….

Well, what do you think about the question? Is it possible that an act of goodness brings massive changes in the world?

Yes, I do agree that they can’t change the shape of our world but they can surely change a lot of other elements. For me, they have done miracles, and they are only the ones that keep me going, and making way through the troubles of my life. Also, there are a few sad stories when I was used as a puppet just to fulfill a few stupid greeds of a few idiots, but those are very small compared to the feelings of happiness that I felt.

I can’t forget the words of Mother Teresa, that I had heard during her final days, where she had said that the poor and downtrodden need more of the feeling that they are also needed in this world rather than the bucks and currencies. They are more hungry for love and less for food. These weren’t the exact words but the essence was exactly this.

Just a simple smile is enough to……….

But I don’t know why it has also become so expensive that you’ll find so less of them.

A few days ago, one lady came in my way and she just made the statement that no goodness survives in the world today and all that live are bad deeds, lies, and more such stuffs. How do I agree to it when I’ve been seeing good people all through my life? Do you agree? For me, they do exist! And the surprising thing about the acts of goodness is that they are really contagious. You do one and tens of them will come back to you.

Can’t we work for a world where acts of kindness loiter all around, so many, that we won’t need any more?:-) Might be possible! But only when I change!

Look around to find one, and you’ll find many. But, many more are still needed! Who is to bring those?

The Mistake!

Prompt: I knew it was a mistake the moment it was over!

We, I and Jane, my beloved, were walking through the dense fog on a lonely road. It was a cold winter night and so foggy that hands could not see hands. We were coming from the club’s New Year party and were very happy about the arrival of the New Year to wash away all our past unhappy endings. Both of us were involved in our own thoughts and none wanted to disturb the other.

“Don’t you fear that something might happen now in this dark night?” suddenly Jane broke the silence.

“Yup”, I just mumbled.

“What if somebody attacks us from behind? I am feeling very afraid.”

“Hey! Why will anyone attack us? We don’t have any grudges with anybody in this world. We don’t need to fear any….” I tried to boost her but my voice got vague and I couldn’t complete the sentence. Scene of the newspaper report about the killing of a couple just for money flashed in my mind before I could complete my sentence.

Then we were again silent. No sound except barking dogs and our footsteps could be heard. And nothing except Jane was visible to me.

At last, we reached to the corner of the street where I had to let her go and push myself to my own place. We didn’t talk anything and just gave a goodbye kiss to each other, just a routine thing whenever I left her.

Now I hurried towards my destination. Also I pulled out the Swiss knife that I had purchased for these fearful times. ”O my God! Why did I agree for the party? If only I had not… Come on, now you don’t have that option. I had to be brave with her but now I have to rush”, I was thinking as my steps continued accelerating.

Just then my feet turned cold and I felt struggling for air hearing footsteps running towards me. I couldn’t move any step further. I couldn’t even move my body as it froze hearing the sound, and my hands just strengthened the grip on the knife. I was totally ready to tear apart anybody.

With the sound coming closer my grip continued to get harder and harder.

I heard my name,” Sunny!” and felt the hug of Jane just before I had forced the knife thrice into the body that caught me. Her face flashed as she struggled to stand and slipped even from my grip. A last gasp of my name came from her mouth,”S…u…,.n…..n….” but she could not complete.

Tears made their way out of my eyes as I held her. Without a word for me, she just closed her eyes. I knew it was a big mistake the moment it was all over.

Tried too much but couldn’t think of anything better than this. Reaching the end, I began feeling that my story was not suitable to the prompt. If you’ve read the story, do tell me about your feelings! It’s again without any backspace press……typing whatever came to my mind……

Destiny!

This is just a story that poured out of my heart a few times ago….

“Knock! knock!”, somebody knocked on Raj’s door. When Raj opened the door, he was astonished to find a beautiful girl standing in front of him.
Unsure Raj asked her with slight hesitation, “Did you knock my door”?
“Yes, Can I get some water please?”
“She’s beautiful”, Raj said to himself and “What “, to the girl”.
The girl was wearing snow white salwar suite with fur around the neck which made the dress all the more attractive. White skin tight pyjamas made her a perfect Indian beauty. She had a fair complexion with black hair which was clipped over her head.
“Must be five six”, Raj guessed of her height.
“Water please”.
“Oooooyaya why not. I’ll just be back with it”, Raj said and moved towards his bathroom.
“Drinking water”, the lady said with some force in her voice.
“Here it is………your drinking water”, Raj appeared from his bathroom with a bottle of water in his hand.
The girl took the bottle slowly and unwillingly. She had something which she couldn’t speak out. Raj smelled unwillingness and reason for this unwillingness as well.
“Actually I don’t have a fridge or any other means of cooling the water. So, to keep the water cool, bathroom is the best place. Or else you would have hot water direct from the water tank. Just imagine. So, don’t hesitate but quest your thirst. It’s water and nothing except that”, I swear.
Now, the girl got a new confidence and she drank all one litre in a single breath.
“Thank You very much”, the girl said and turned.
“New to this place?”, curious Raj asked.
“Ya”,saying, she stepped ahead.
“But where are you from?”
“From Jharkhand”, she said and again tried to proceed to her room.
“Ok but what’s your name. Last question”, Raj understood her reluctance to go to her room.
“Anjali” , girl responded unwillingly. She was annoyed a bit but was obliged for the bathroom water.
“And I’m Raj ………..Raj from Jharkhand………….Here pursuing my B.Com honours…………..From Delhi University ………second year ,that’s all about me…………..And you?”,he started with hesitant sound and finished with an interrogative expression on his face.
“Very good but I didn’t ask anything about you”.
“Right”, Raj stated with a smile on his face.”You didn’t ask but you wanted to and you didn’t only due to somebody inside you who was pulling you back and………and you just were listening to him suppressing the other one who wanted you to ask all these. It happens with everybody on meeting strangers.”
“Nothing of this sort happened with me”, Anjali said and walked away.
Anjali walked to her room pondering over Raj’s words. She was thinking about Raj, though she didn’t want to.
“Ya, he was right! I wanted to ask all that he had said but……………. he was right “. Since her schooldays itself, Anjali was unable to do what she wanted. She had been suppressive all through and the somebody always pulled her, though she never realized about the ‘somebody’ except today.
On the other side, Raj too was thinking hard over the words he spoke.
“No, I was all ok”
Raj had done something, he was proud of. He wanted to talk to a girl, he wanted to have a girl friend, and do all that his friends had already done. And today he had given a starting touch to it. He was 21 and so was above the required age. Today, he was getting a feeling of some kind of accomplishment. He stood before the mirror and smiled with confidence. Then he remembered something and pounced upon his bed grabbing his cellphone kept there. He pressed a few keys and brought the phone close to his ears. He was walking very fast but his heartbeat was still normal. He was feeling much stronger than he earlier used to.
“Hello Manish?”
“Yaya…, tell me”, reply came.
“Hey I did it! I said everything.”
“To whom and what”, Manish was a bit puzzled.
“A girl has come next to my room and I told her everything about me ………and………and………..”
“And what “
“And she even said that she hadn’t asked me all that details.”
“Then?”
“Then I repeated the dialogue you had given.”
“Arererere…!That’s not a dialogue but a simple fact……..ok. So then”
“She went thinking and I’m sitting”.
“Stupid!! Now you go to her room demanding something a new person can have…..like a nail ….or a….. aaaaa…….. ok go for a nail and apologize for speaking too much. Then talk as sensibly as you can and don’t try to be too smart. It would prove nonsense of you. Ask for permission to sit and explain the things she could get from the shops around and which all shops gave quality with correct price exetra exetra. And hey, don’t go too far today. Remember that patience is a virtue.”
“Asking for a nail…… damn fucking idea.”, Raj thought and dropped the idea of going to her room the same day.
The next afternoon, Raj went to Anjali’s room and said,” Can I have some water today. Actually I Forgot to keep it in the bucket and now are nearly at the boiling temperature. If you don’t have it, I will manage it from the shops. It’s just a matter of a few coins you know.”
“I have it. I have a ghara that keeps the water cool. Why don’t you too get it? Please get in. It’s too hot outside.”
The statement got Raj turn into a believer as he had wanted exactly the same thing and his plan was working.
“Sorry ….I’m sorry for speaking too much yesterday.” Saying this he got in slowly. Slowly because he was afraid of the world around. He was afraid of himself, he was afraid of the people, his friends and the consequences. Raj sat on the bed there as that was the only thing he could keep his back on. No chair no mat. Just a table and a bed. The room had been kept very organized. Table and bed were very close, almost touching each other. “Must be studying on the bed”, Raj guessed. There was a space for kitchen pulled out of the room and was just enough for one person to stand.
“Then Raj suddenly realized that it was exactly same as his own room. Same length, same breadth same everything”, he thought.
“Water “, Raj’s inspection was interrupted. Along with inspection Raj was also thinking of his future, his success and his failure, all kinds of ifs and buts. And the water broke his thinking process.
“I thought over your statements and found them to be very true mmmmm…………. what name you had said bhaiya?’
That was something Raj had not thought of but now he was a lot more confident.
“Fuck I’m not your bhaiya. I’m simply Raj for you and call me that. You understand my words. Or you can also call me Raj sir for showing respect. Ya Raj Sir would be better.”
That was all spontaneous and it’s composition was his own as the relationship could shatter the possibility of any other relationship.
“Ok Raj sir”, the girl agreed,” You were right with all that you said. And I should say that you have really impressed me with your crystal clear thinking. Can we be friends? She held her hand out to shake.
Raj wanted to agree at once but wasn’t quite sure and nor was he prepared for the offer. “I’ll have to think a bit”, he said with confident style and apaced out immediately. He reached his room and thought,”Ooooo! It was stupid of me to ask for time in doing friendship. Should I go to her now? No, that’ll make a better idiot out of me. I’ll see her tomorrow”.
On the other hand Anjali too was calculating, “Did I say correct things? Was the time correct or did I hurry in saying this. One thing is for sure that he too likes me or else he wouldn’t have been angry on my use of the word.”
By this time Raj had called Manish. Actually Manish was a friend of Raj who had always helped him, whatever be the problem. He was little more extrovert than Raj though in studies, Manish existed nowhere around Raj. Raj got good marks in the board and moved to Delhi while Manish stayed in Madhopur, doing some sort of a wholesale business together with pursuing his B.Com pass course from some college where he only needed to sit for exams and that too was mostly done by others. It was also said that Manish had managed a few people who provide him with the degree at just 5000 rupees. They were the people from university who did the good job of giving degree to a lot of Manishlike students at the expense of a few bundles. And the reason for getting the forged certificate was even more surprising – the guys got it so that they could get better dowry on showing the graduation certificate But Manish needed it for his dad’s sake.
“Hey Manish dear , how’s your business ?”
“Leave it for now and tell me about you.”
“She forwarded her hands for friendship and I demanded time to think”
“Are…yaar you should have agreed to it. Anyways, now you should meet her day after tomorrow and the time gap will make your relationship much stronger. That’s all ok but you haven’t told me anything about her name or hometown and I’m one with full support for your success .”
“Anjali is her name, I told you and she’s also from Jharkhand but I don’t know her hometown till now.”
“Anjali……from Jharkhand”,Manish exclaimed .
“What’s the matter dear, why are you so surprised?”
“Go and know the city immediately “.
“But you said to meet her day after tomorrow and nowwwww………”,Raj was interrupted.
“Please go my friend and say that you’re ready for friendship only if you know her hometown
“But why Manish what’s the matter? “
“Just do what I said”.
“Yes sir”, Raj said.
But Manish had kept the phone beforehand. He was now thinking of his Anjali. Actually Manish too liked a girl living near his shop, whose name was Anjali. He wanted to tell her about his feelings but had to postpone his plans till the time his business makes a hold in the city as he didn’t have anything to boast of. In the meantime he heard that Anjali was going to Delhi for further studies. He was happy and sad simultaneously on hearing the news. Happy for he would be able to give his full effort to his business and Sad for being unable to see her for quite a long time. Anyways, Anjali went to Delhi. Then Manish worked hard and his business got to a nice status and he was now prepared to open his heart the day Anjali returned from Delhi.
Drowned in his own thoughts, he was disturbed by the ringing mobile, ”Yaaadein yaad aati hain…..”. He picked up the phone seeing Raj’s name blinking on the screen.
Hello Manish! Happy news ……I explained all my feelings to her and too has similar feelings for me. I can’t talk much as we are going to a restaurant for dinner. And yes, for your query, she’s from our town of Madhopur. Ok the….”
Raj didn’t listen more and dropped the mobile there on the table. Shining drops appeared on his cheek and Manish wept and wept. He delayed the decision and it costed him his love.

Untying our loved ones from the knot of expectations – Let them feel free!

“Two meaningful lines – You cannot be hurt by someone who is not special to you and you can’t hurt someone who is not special to you”. My cell peeped receiving this sms late during the night, and I kept thinking about it. Is it so?

After much consideration, I realized that yes, the sms was true for almost all of us. But then again, I again started thinking, “Why is it so that we are hurt the most by those whom we love”, when it should have been the other way that we are never hurt by our special one. After all, ‘special’ has a special meaning in everyone’s life.

Going by my words, expectation is the key to all miseries in relationships. We have too much expectations from the people we love and we can’t keep up with those expectations getting false.

‘My son can’t do it’, ‘My beloved will call me’, ‘My friend will remember my birthday’….and a lot more. We tend to impose our thoughts on others – our loved ones. We develop an image of these people, and the moment that image gets knocked down, we feel stressed and get hurt. This was particularly not because of their action but because of they not coming true to our expectations. It was due to ‘they not fulfilling the unsaid promise earlier made to us’.

Why is it that we tie our loved ones to these threads of expectations? They are also human and can err. Can’t we make them free? Can’t we allow them to be who they are? And still love them?

It is very difficult. Actually, we, as normal humans, have been framed in such a way that releasing expectations and deleting the created images is a very tough job. We can’t totally fulfill that. We come in contact with so many people we love and have framed an image for each of them. Deleting all of these images is a cumbersome task, but definitely possible. Few things that we can keep a note of, to fulfill this daunting task are:

• We all are humans and deemed to make mistakes.
• Get into his/her shoes and try to understand the situations they might be facing.
• He/she never promised that they would be replying to all my mails/messages.
• Nobody needs to be something other than what he/she actually is. There is no wrong in it if the person disrupts the image you have of him, for being what he/she actually is.
• When we are loving a person, we should be prepared to suffer for him/her. When a mother has given birth to a baby, she has to be ready to clean his or her shit, and must not feel bad about it.
• People have to change according to their wishes and not mine. They have to live their lives.
• Never judge others, not even those whom we love.

These words that I have written here are nothing more than few of the thoughts arising in  my stupid brain. Easier said than done – putting them here was not difficult but following them is. I have been facing great difficulties. When you also feel sad about any loving one not coming to your expectation, think of the above points and you will feel relaxed. After all, he/she is your loving………

ONE by Richard Bach!

I found the book a bit confusing at times, for it had so many meetings with the future or past representations of Bach and Leslie. Though the thoughts were good, I found it to be without any story kind of thing – believable story.

The best thing I liked in it is the discussion on parallel lives. Now that’s probably unbelievable but thinking when we haven’t seen any of our serial lives even, why can’t we believe in the parallel one?

Bach has ended the story very well describing a meeting where the speakers have done some researches on various topics from different subjects. When one of them starts speaking we get to find it is the continuation of what the previous speaker was speaking. I couldn’t very well catch up with this last part but what I got was that Bach was trying to show we all are working to complete each others goals and desires in some way or the other.

The beginning part, when Pie comes into the scene, has many motivating words read from symbols. I have completed the book once and intend to read it again for there were such statements and plot settings that went over my head. It was not like the seagull story and demanded more of readers’ attention and ability to comprehend the unsaid secrets.

There was also a point in ‘One’ where the author tries to show the ways to avoid wars. He speaks it through a character in the book and he says the people of his country make preparations for fights. They practice the fights as sports and nothing more. It gives them the pleasure of wars while inflicting no harm.

On the whole, I feel Richard, as usual, has sent out many good messages of peace and motivation through his book – ONE. But the story here has been a bit of confusing sort – at least for me, though I liked whatever I understood.

OFFICE calling….

Waiting for the call from his ‘to be’ office, Allison was feeling restless and was walking from one corner of the room to the other. Actually, he was to receive a confirmation call for his joining in Aegis Steels, a public sector steel firm, as a senior manager. He had worked hard for it, and now his bad days would be over with the job. He had already started planning for his better days since the day he qualified through the interview, as only document verification formalities are left after that. He had started making plans for the nice home he would shift in with his family. He had a nice long discussion with Sarah, his wife, about the location of their new home. Sarah wanted it to be in some high society kind of area like the VIP flats or the Monsoon Villas while he himself wanted to be in a calm place away from the jostling city where he could take rest and talk to his family. He had been fed up of living in the Tower area where the horns of vehicles made it very tough to live there. And to say anything, the person inside would have to shout to the best of his or her ability. Allison had to also go to the doctor for a throat problem and the doctor gave him a single medicine and but mainly prescribed him to speak in a low tone. But speaking in loud voice was what he ‘had to’ do to communicate in his home. However, by God’s grace neither he nor any of his family members needed a doctor after that.

He was presently working in a private office as a clerk and found it tough to look after his family with the small salary he used to get from his accountant. Even for that salary, which was obviously his right, Allison had to do a lot of discussions with his manager. He had to clarify his each and every work done and not done in the office, at the end of which he was paid just ninety percent of his actual salary. Reasons were really shocking – not having the coffee he asked for, not bringing the pen and using colleague’s pen, and  many more similar sucking reasons. He could have revolted, but was afraid of being fired which would lead to zero income for his home.  He wanted to kick the boss everyday before sitting on his own chair but did not have the guts to do so. And as soon as he used to take his seat, the boss attacked him. Yes, she would really attack Allison, not with a sword or knife but with words, and Allison found himself in miserable condition. Whatsoever be the reason, the fact was that she used to literally fuck Allison’s ass with her words.
The boss was an unmarried lady of around forty with a little extra weight of around 120 kgs. Though, her height was four eight or maximum four ten. At this height and weight, she seemed to be a real round pumpkin. She had a boy cut hairstyle and used to wear a ribbon whose colour matched with that of her skirt. Yes, she used to wear skirts and that too of knee length. When she shouted at Allison, her eyeballs seemed to be coming out of their sockets. Allison used to just listen to her words with no response in his defense.  Well, his boss was famous in the office as Lady Shouter, though her actual name was Lisa Dyer. Whenever Lisa appeared outside her cabin, all of the staffs got themselves prepared as when she shouted she threw out saliva from her mouth over the person in front. Some of the staffs would wear helmets; some would talk with their face behind files. Dramatic! The scene was utterly dramatic when she talked to anybody! “How can she manage the office with such a dreadful talking style?” the office staffs used to think. But she was doing it; though with no happy staff! Everybody was working there only because they had to be there.
His children neither could choose to eat anything nor could they choose do something. They too had turned into pebbles of road thrown to be kicked by the people of this world. Nothing good to wear, nothing good to eat and nothing good to play with! There condition was really disgusting. Appearance was worse. Those little kids watched others of their age and longed for a better condition. Allison longed for the same even more than his kids. Anyways, his days were slowly passing by but filled with worries and tensions.

But now, his days would see change. The children would now be able to go to better school, wear better clothes and eat better food. There would be no boss like Miss Dyer to shout at him and deduct his payment and exploit him.
Allison had even experienced words from his friends which simply brought the idea of suicide in his mind. In fact, their teasing words had only persuaded him to work for getting something better in life. Otherwise, he had been trying to find contentment in that roadside life itself thinking that he had no way to go but actually, till that time he did not want to go. He did not want to change his life. Till then, Allison even didn’t want to change the life of his wife and his children. He had no true desire that his kids should try for a better future. He felt that they too could pass their life as he had. But the sharp statements from all the people around him made him to at least try for changing his life. He thought-“If his effort brings him success, it will be well and good or else the sucking life was always there to be lived”. And at last, he about to be successful in changing his own life as well as the life of his family.

Now, Allison was getting more and more impatient and had started to loose his temper. Finding nobody else, he displayed his anger to the people around him. He didn’t want but negative thoughts started to float through his mind-“What if I don’t get the job? What will i reply to my family? How will I live with them? No, no the job can’t go to anybody else. They have just called me for some formality necessary to start working. It has been given to me……….. It’s my job…. God can’t do this to me anymore…….  none else can get my job…….I have worked hard for it……..no more test of my patience…… please God please……. I’ll die…..help me God; help me……. help me……. And his voice became more and more feeble and slowly Allison began to sob…… his nose got filled and his eyes overflowed. The day went by and he kept sitting on the chair with his head resting over his knees. Allison actually slept thinking all thoughts which had mixed emotions of being a successful person, and a failure

Allison got up in the evening but still couldn’t find any miss call being displayed on his phone. When it got dark he went out and came back with a packet of ‘rat kill pills’. Oh god he was about to end his life! He kept looking towards his mobile phone but didn’t get what he was waiting for. At last, he popped the pills but still kept an eye on the phone. Scenes of the life he had passed ran through his mind. Smiles and cries – all the moments that he had lived came before him this last time. And his face expression also switched in the same speed-sometimes happy and sometimes sad! He was loosing his breath now and the phone blinked with “OFFICE Calling” appearing over the screen. Allison could just smile seeing this.

Another sucking excuse…..

It’s really pissing when you want to write the story but you are unable to. Today was Friday and I could not prepare the story according to the prompt – “A man aspiring to be a pro bowler loses to his young daughter”.

Actually, wrote it twice on my system and deleted both of them only for the reason that I couldn’t feel confident about the stories being good. The same judge has reborn!

I feel that I would never become good at writing without writting……that’s stupid…everybody knows that. My story was going the way that a man couldn’t get into the right place and his dream to be a pro bowler remained a dream till the day his daughter meets a rich fellow who promises to do the job, only if he would get three fourth of the prize money…….and it had some more thoughts……. but the judge in me sucks. I tell you, “it really sucks”.

I didn’t want to refrain from writing in my blog and there were no thoughts except this – “the sucking judge”.

Now, it is definitely clear to me that by judging I can only fail. And by practicing only will I be able to pass

Anyways, there is more to the reasons. I even didn’t understand the prompt clearly and was afraid of posting something that might be considered stuuuuuupid. Once I see other stories and understand the actual meaning, I will definitely post mine.