Like it or not, we all go through unexpected, painful, catastrophic events in our lives. Loss of a loved one, failure at something we are passionate about, accidents of self or a loved one, and many more such events might lead us to ‘grief’. David Kessler, a grief researcher, has said on grief.com that there is “no typical response as there is no typical loss”. However, he, along with Elisabeth Kubbler Ross, interviewed many people and found these given stages to be very common. Identifying one’s own stage can help them to deal with grief. And get back to #keepsmiling
The emotions anyone feels are real and we must understand that we cannot push it under the carpet. We must go ‘through’ it. We must also note that different people can have different timelines for every stage.
Denial is the first stage where everything becomes meaningless and we sometimes want to end it immediately. It is a general defense mechanism where we are not ready to accept what has happened. “How can it happen?”, “This is not happening”, “I can’t believe it.”
Anger is the next stage. As the reality begins to become visible, the pain of this reality also becomes real. This anger might be towards things, people, God, or anything of that sort. It might even be towards the person who passed away or the doctor who diagnosed of the deadly disease.
Bargaining comes next when the grieving person begins to talk with phrase, “If only I would have done…”! This is the person’s attempt at getting back control of the situation. They might even bargain with God for a different outcome in exchange of something they have never done but would now.
Then comes Depression with worries about how things will be done. This is also a natural state and we must allow it to walk up to the person. Here we think about how we did not do enough for the person gone or how are we going to manage the expenses. Sometimes people might also feel some aches and or loss of appetite.
And last is the Acceptance stage where we are finally able to let it settle down. We now understand that ‘what has happened has‘, and there’s not much that can be done about it. But that they must look forward to live the life that awaits. This stage might repeat for a long long time as the person could swing back and forth from here by sometimes feeling angry or sad, and then again being able to accept whatever happened. The sooner we can reach this stage the better it will be!
Everyone goes through these stages and awareness is the first step to deal with any of it so that, no matter what happens, we all can forever #keepsmiling.😄