Positive thoughts do make an impact upon us, individually, and over our culture as well! It’s better to have positive thoughts rather than the opposite ones. Even if you don’t believe that positive thoughts can make a difference this could be helpful. A simple starter, asking to tell one thing that made them feel better instead of the old how are you can change the level of interaction. Read further…
The moment you meet someone or text someone, it starts with one of these: “Hey, how are you?”, “What’s up?”, “What’s going on?”, “Good to see you, what’s happening?”, “How’s life?”, etc.
I am sure you have asked the above questions innumerable times from your colleagues, family members and whoever you would have met. No doubt, you would have also answered these questions similar number of times!
In my experience people answer it with, “Nothing, just all regular stuff” or “All good bro, what about you?”, “Hmm all good man”, etc. Have you heard of anyone describing the difficulty they’ve been facing? Almost never!
When one asks these above questions, are they really interested in knowing about how the person is doing? Mostly not, they just need to start off!
However, think about it, did you reeeally get to know ANY BIT about the person?
Icebreakers? Really? Even if we consider these as the breakers, how useful are they? And can’t we ever change these?
Let’s consider for a minute that WE CAN CHANGE!
Now, what if we start asking, “What’s the one thing that made you feel very good today?” Here you got them thinking – about all good things that they experienced. All kinds of interactions, all events start running in their minds…all that brought them feelings of joy, comfort, happiness, fulfilment, and so on! Probably you brought a smile on their face. And there’s something to talk about.
As they answer, you get to know one additional fact about the person. Won’t this kind of conversation improve the connection people have among each other?
And let me tell you a few responses that I have been getting! “Reviewed a long pending article” shows the person has been involved in some writing work lately! Another went, “the famous dancer I follow on Instagram responded to my message” showing they’re interested in dancing, “I did pranayama after a long time”, “I spoke to my parents through video call for the first time”, “I woke up early at 8:30…” And so on…! In each of these responses do you see how you are getting to know something more about the person and about what is important to them?
Aren’t these responses better at helping you build a more personal connection with the other person? Can you imagine a world where everyone is getting to know everyone else on a deeper level? And all interactions are fruitful not only from “business” point of view but “personal connection” point too?
But again, the rule should be that you can’t judge their answer… like you don’t judge when the person answers, how are you with a “all good”! You may ask further questions, preferably closed ended ones to just carry forward the interaction. Like if the person says that the best thing happening to them was that they had a good cup of hot tea, you may ask the question, “Aha! Which brand coffee do you enjoy!” Or, “Did you have the coffee with others in the family or just alone” and then again next question could follow! You cannot say, “How can having coffee be a big thing?” Or “How can waking up at 10 be a great thing?” It’s not about how you feel about the act but how the other person feels!
Now, do you see how just one question is enabling a more productive and positive conversation?
Yes, like any other change, it will be slightly ‘awkward’ to move from the previous style but let’s get ready for it and make an effort everyday! 😊
A positive start can take any discussion to a great finish. And much more. What is your thought? Please share in the comments section below!