Ki & Ka – Bold attempt falling apart!

I totally loved this R. Balki’s Bollywood flick as a concept – new & fabulous (9/10)! But it totally disappointed me with the rest.

Overall, it is all about Kabir (Arjun Kapoor) and Ki (Kareena Kapoor). Ki is an ambitious business woman whereas Ka is someone with no big ambition. He has no mother and remains in bad terms with his father. He later marries Ki to live with her as a house-husband (ghar jamai). They start happily but find a few ego-clash issues.

The movie – they marry, he cooks, he cleans, he washes, he serves, and he waits for her to return home. She goes to office, becomes the VP and brings money for both. Not a dumb man, he too gets some accolades, ego arrives, their relation cracks, then re-joins and they live – happily ever after!high-heels-main

They meet, on an aeroplane and their conversations begin. Not an interesting start! Specially the dialogue by Kabir (Arjun Kapoor) to Ki (Kareena Kapoor), “ek ladki ka ek ladke ko rote dekhne ka sunehara mauka” could have been better. This cliche just didn’t click for me.

Anyways, let me briefly tell what I enjoyed in the movie.

What I liked here:

  • Of course, the concept!
  • We get to watch the everyday drinking and conversations between Ki & Ka, which made complete sense. Ki, being a corporate woman, found it difficult to accept that someone like Ka could be interested in becoming a house-husband.
  • The writer did an intelligent thing by making Ka a topper from IIM because for a guy to accept and argue for such a profession (house-husband), he should have somewhat higher level of maturity. Of course, just the tag didn’t do all. But it did give some acceptability – at least to me.
  • I also liked the one-liners between Ka and his father as it candidly reflected the gap in their relationship and brought in streaks of laughter. Moreover, I even enjoyed Ki’s quick and frank response on listenig the disrespectful words spoken by Ka’s father to Ka when they both inform the father about their plan to get married.
  • Then I liked the ending conversations between Ki and her mother where the movie tries to send out some message to the audience. Never to forget, the happy ending where even Ka’s father comes to celebrate their birthdays along with the marriage anniversary. Yes, Ki and Ka share the same DoB along with their date of marriage anniversary.
  • Ka’s bike.

Now let me mention a few points why I didn’t give full score.

  • As already stated, the beginning.
  • When Ki-Ka get married, Ki puts on the mangal sutra in Ka’s neck to show their role-reversal. And he later started wearing it on his wrist. Come on, give me a break!
  • Being the kind of movie it is I would have liked to watch some more humour. There was a short fight scene by Ka where he beats up half a dozen goons for eve-teasing. Yes, it did impress Ki but, for me, as an audience, I would have liked a different approach there.
  • How can an Indian mother ask her daughter and son-in-law upfront about sex? Probably, only in our film industry.
  • Kareena and Arjun are very good actors, and I personally felt that the movie was unable to do justice to their talents.
  • There was a dumb sequence of ads and awards for almost half an hour.

Really, the movie sends out some very serious messages with a few light-heated humorous scenes. Worth one time watch!

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Our Idiotic Habits – Do you have any?

I have now been staying in Bengaluru, India for almost four years. It usually has a very pleasant climate with no extreme temperatures. It is very much unlike Delhi or Jharkhand states in the country where you feel either like boiling due to excessive heat, or freezing due to less than no heat.

However, I have seen far more geysers and heaters in the ‘B’ city. In fact every PG, every one-room set and every building here comes with a fixed geyser. And, it seems like something the whole city considers of utmost significance – more than even water itself. 😛

And, although I had never even thought of using hot water in the chilly winters of Delhi or Jharkhand, I began using it here in Bengaluru. Why? Probably due to the ease of availability! Or due to what I was seeing around me. Or just to try! But that’s not the point of this post!

Fine, in the beginning, it felt good and using geyser for bath still made some sense as the mercury level used to be low. hotBut only in the beginning – I accept! Later it just became a stupid routine or habit. ‘Stupid’ because I now used to wait for the water to get heated, then I sometimes waited because the water became too hot. Also because sometimes I even threw and wasted water just because it was not hot and I used electricity on a useless task. Because the climate has rarely been so cold. In fact, it was so hot that the ‘tech city’ felt to exist not on earth but away from the planet, somewhere in between the earth and the sun. Still I – and everyone else has been using geyser. Sadly, I realized it only two days ago.

So, a few days ago, due to some extreme circumstance, I had to bathe. The geyser was already crying 😦 due to the excessive usage. So, believing that it won’t kill me, I thought to just try the normal (aka ‘cold’ water earlier). And in fact, when I tried the normal water, it felt far… far… far… better for the current days.

I think we all actually get so used to in our daily routine and habits that we never look back to see if those habits still make sense. This is true not only for us as individuals, but as families, societies and countries. bad-habit-quote-715x479We might be carrying one or more habits, customs and rituals that don’t make sense – anymore – and are burdens.

Have you ever reflected back on your own habits? There might be something idiotic in your lives as well! The habits? Or the rituals and beliefs of your family, society or country? You might be better off – WITHOUT IT!

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…So what?

In a post prior to my previous post I requested everyone to have empathy towards employees of other fields. And show respect to them. However, I also mentioned in the end that I will be writing about a different perspective to the scene.

Let’s talk of that perspective here.

I have heard my colleagues (I too) say, “He banged the phone on my face.” Or “The girl spoke in a rude manner that made me feel insulted.” Or “Something…”

Did you ever speak like me or my colleagues? Do you complain about such bad remarks? Do you even care about such words? And then start to feel bad?

So what? So what if the person disconnected the call? So what if s/he shouted at you? And so what if they spoke rudely to you?sowhatmusic

Are you gonna feel sorry or ashamed and give up? Or learn something, stand back up and try again?

Additionally, who in the world can insult you?

Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Nobody can hurt you without your permission.” No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

There’s an interesting and well-known story about Gautam Buddha (563 – 483BC). I am not sure of the exact words but this is how it goes. It is said that once when Buddha was teaching his students, a bystander became angry with him and started to abuse him for some unknown reason. Patiently, Gautam listened to everything the angry man had to say, and then spoke to the whole group. He asked everyone, “Who would own a gift when someone offers it to a person but the latter refuses to accept it. Is it the giver or the receiver?” “The giver”, everyone said together. “Any fool can understand that”, added the angry fellow. “So I decline your gift!” The angry man just stood there – amazed – at whatever Buddha said.

This story shows that whenever a person tries to show anger at us or insult us, we can always choose to either accept their words to feel hurt, or leave it with them. i have to value your opinion We can always choose to either feel insulted or just move on! And hence, we can definitely choose who steps out with bad feelings. Just ask, “So  what?”

Come on my friend, it’s your dream and only you will understand its value. Nobody else will. You can’t give up on it for a bit of harsh language.

You were the one who dreamt of the business venture! Or probably, of serving the world with an amazing invention! Or of marrying and just serving your loving spouse. You dreamt of it. Others didn’t! The people laughing at you or calling you by names didn’t!images

So, forget the remarks they made, the pains you faced or the tears you cried.

Get up; dust yourself off and just MOVE ON!

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Unknown, Unsung contributor!

I am really sorry that this post is not what I had promised in my previous post. But the next one will be – I promise! Actually, this was more important right now.

So, as mentioned in an earlier post about a trip to several beautiful spots in Karnataka, along with the highest peak in the state, I have been practicing yoga for the past six months!!! 😛  Yes, everyday – except the days my room doesn’t have water (like today). 😀

DHYANA MANDIRA-YOGA HALL

The temple

We practice yoga in a temple near Silk Board, Bengaluru, India, and a new batch starts here every forty-five days. As it is a free class, people join us in large numbers (hundred is usual) from all age, gender, caste, colour, community and any other differentiating barrier you can imagine. But very few continue!! Why not? No, not because they are lazy or they don’t have time. It is often due to the reasons mentioned here! Where new batches start with more than hundred people, maximum fifteen of them continue.

As we practice yoga in the Shiva temple, the location is immensely pure – and the early morning timing supplements to the cool climate of the city. But before starting with the asanas we together go ahead to clean the temple campus as a part of our responsibility towards the temple. This gives a warm-up exercise to all of us. And obviously, you can’t practice yoga when your surrounding is unclean.

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Meditation on Deepavali

We also have special meditation and pujas held on various occasions (like Diwali, Swami Vivekananda’s birthday, etc). On other such occasions we have had various activities like games, speech by a well-experienced person, mass dinner (Maha Bhojanam), etc.

This mass dinner is an unusual activity (I saw it for the first time) where everyone sits on ground in a huge circle and all varieties of cooked food are offered by ladies (motherly figures) straight in your hands instead of plate. No, not once, but continuously until you burp out of filled stomach.

Day before yesterday, our class went to Samarthanam School for blind, played a lot of games with the kids there, talked to the children, got to know about eye donation and – many even pledged their eyes. I didn’t because I have done it already. Have YOU? What will you do with your eyes after you die?

Anyways, as I see it, this yoga class has offered diverse benefits to me – and to humanity. People have become more aware about their own social responsibilities, more empathetic towards the needs of others, as well as, they have understood the numerous ways in which they can serve the world.

Our guru, Mr. Rajkumar, works with some private company as a Quality Head and has been teaching yoga free of cost for the past six years. Yes, everyday! He is helping so many of people to choose yoga, not only as an exercise but as a way of life – contributing to the world – in his own small way. green_worldHave you ever thought of your own small way? What seed can you plant today that might grow into a tree – tomorrow – and offer shade to others?

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Every employee is doing their job!

A few weeks ago, I published this post that revealed a story of respecting different jobs equally. Today I want to discuss about the manner in which we insult the employees of other fields.

And this is mostly true for the jobs involving cold calling. Working as a recruiter gave me great insights into the insult felt when someone puts down your call with a BANG!!! Or just puts it aside without speaking any word. Or would start shouting “Hello, hello…” as if s/he can’t hear you! My colleagues, in these situations, often became very stopangry.

What? Oh yes, I do agree. “He might truly be facing problem talking to you”, I too thought so. And that is why I used to call again. This time, s/he won’t even pick up my call. Actually, the moment we stated that we have called regarding a recruiter’s job (in my case), credit card, insurance scheme, etc. – we often get to hear – BANG!!!

Yes, I understand you are busy! I understand you don’t have time! And I definitely understand you are not interested in the item, scheme or whatever is being offered.

But there is a way – a way to decline – a way to say NO – and a way to show you are not interested. The person offering the item to you is an employee and not your enemy or one whom YOU pay. S/He is just doing his/her job and has no interest in eating up your time except to show you the opportunity. Not interested? You say NO – in a proper manner!

I don’t know why a lot of people are even scared of such calls. Probably they are not confident of being able to turn the offer down. call scaredInsecurity – I think!

Consider your closest friend – or your LOVE/SPOUSE has recently joined a company as a tele-caller. And she calls you to as a last attempt to reach her target. Will you not talk? Will you not talk properly? And if not interested, will you not decline the offer in a decent manner – like a decent working professional? Just imagine that, and have some empathy for workers of any other field – not as worker but as humans.

respect other jobsWhat do you say?

Ok, that’s just one side of the coin!

Come back to read my next post where I will talk about the other side of the coin.

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My dilemma as a recruiter

I work as a recruiter with a consulting firm. Here we recruit recruiters for other recruitment consulting firms across locations. Ya, it reads a bit confusing but repeat it and you’ll get it!

Recently, we got a new client – an IT company (let’s say X was its name) – with a consulting arm. So X wanted recruiters. Many IT companies have a recruitment consulting arm that does recruitment for internal requirements and for several other IT companies. It helps the companies like ‘X’ to bear the cost of their recruitment team.

Recruitment, as I understand from my experience, takes a lot of time and focused effort. talent attractEarlier, during my PG, it appeared to me as an effortless process where you just have to go to job portals, find suitable talents, take interviews and give joining letter.

In fact, that’s what it is! But each step requires huge volume of work on the backstage to get the best possible talent. That is the reason why rarely any of the big brands do recruitment for themselves giving rise to the entities called RECRUITMENT CONSULTING FIRMS.

‘X’ gave us the requirement and we started working on it. We were successful in scheduling a few interviews and 2 of them even got shortlisted. One of these offered candidates (let’s name him/her ‘O’) was very eager to join ‘X’ as s/he  had been in the same organization for about 4-5 years and was a very good candidate. However, none joined!!!

So, in spite of the eagerness, why didn’t the joining happen? During salary discussion the managers at ‘O’ said, “Is ‘O’ a technical guy that we should offer any increase? If s/he can join in same salary, we will accept him/her. And if not, let him/her go.” I was shocked!

Yes, we do at times place people without a raise. But those are completely different stories, where the reasons are completely valid.

All my month-long efforts went in vain. Even a small company knows that, except for justified causes, in general, you, as an organization, should offer a minimum of approx 20% raise!! And this company? Would offer a hike only to engineers.? I can’t even complain to anyone as clients often have the last say in such matters.

I have got used to the ‘story of a recruiter’ thing.recruiter sstory But this story made my story as a recruiter far more painful. The decision of ‘X’ sent all my efforts in vain. And also disrespected a profession. Then I got the thoughts – “Are engineers the only employees who work?” I had never expected this kind of remark from a senior manager. I too have studied engineering and I understand what work do most engineers do. No offense to anyone!

But we should learn to respect other professions as well. What do you say?

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Resolution should bring revolution

In my previous post I wrote about making a start – to do the things that you have always wanted to do. It’s really disturbing to know that so many people across the globe are often unable to start doing anything; and if at all started, they are unable to follow-through. To tell the truth, we all are patients of a sickness called procrastination that is dangerous. Why?

Common reasons as stated by these people are

  • Lack of money,
  • power,
  • right kind of people,
  • time, etc.

These are, in fact, only the superficial reasons. However, on a much deeper level, it is only because the end goal of the task is not encouraging or attractive enough for them to make a move. Or to make a start – and then – stick to it!

People are not lazy. They simply have impotent goals, that is – Goals that do not inspire them.” – Tony Robbins

If something is attractive enough for me, I will definitely find a way to get it. b48d965491ca803c5a5a6a279b24efa2A few years ago, I made a resolution and started going to the gym. But within a few days my resolution went for a toss. Why? I didn’t actually want to have the big muscles of a body builder. Yes, I wanted to remain fit. And that is the reason I preferred jogging over lifting weights. Investing another thousands of bucks on gym didn’t seem attractive enough only for running. And I didn’t stick to my resolution.

Some time back, in my office, my colleagues, after months of ‘putting off’ for tomorrow,  started going to the gym but did not continue for long.

One of my friends took up one course after another – but never continued for more than a month.

Some smokers make a resolution to quit cigarette. They do quit for two days, four days or a week but start it again. Then the next year comes, they make resolution, quit smoking – this time for ten days or maximum for a month – but don’t follow through. The cycle continues.2015-01-11-newyearsresolutions

Currently I am working as a recruiter and I get to see numerous resumes where the candidate worked for two months, discontinued for a few months. Then again s/he joined another organization and resigned in two, three or six months. And…. This continues… They provide reasons that are clear excuses.

In fact, it could also be because we don’t actually believe in the resolution. Maybe, because I don’t believe it can change my life – for the better. Maybe because the job-seekers don’t believe that having a job or getting paid is important to them. Now if I resolve to give up smoking, and on the inside I have a strong belief that smoking improves my creativity and boosts my energy level, will I ever be able to quit smoking? NO! I might quit for a day or two… but then I will restart after some time.

This stands true, even when I am a huge fan of Salman Khan (famous Bollywood star) delivering the famous dialogue – “ek baar jo meine commitment kar di, fir mein apne aap ki bhi nahi sunta“! (Once I commit to something, I don’t listen even to myself). 🙂beliefslies

Yes, maybe you have a genuine reason for failing . And whether your explanation is an actual thing or just an excuse is for you to reflect and decide.

However, if you, me or anybody has ever tried trying to make resolutions – and STICK to it – but has been failing every time they have tried, probably it’s time to re-visit our personal belief system. Resolutions should be capable of bringing revolution in our lives. Only then will I stick to it.

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So, I can choose to either create a new resolution in line with my belief system or create a new belief system that can support me head on towards my resolutions.

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